Family violence victim fears impact statement will be used against her

The south-west woman, who cannot legally be named, recently took her former husband of 25 years to court for breaching an intervention order put in place to protect her and their children.

The woman and her child supplied victim impact statements, which explain how crimes affect a victim, to the court during the perpetrator's sentencing in June 2024.

They opted not to have their statements read aloud in court, which is not unusual for victim-survivors of family violence.

But the woman said she was horrified to learn their words had been read by their abuser.

The woman said she bared it all thinking the man would not see it.

"Because he pleaded guilty (the statements) were handed to him and that was really hard," she said.

She said she was now left in even greater fear for her child's safety as she believes the man may seek retribution.

She urged for changes to the court system which would allow victims to have more control over their words.

"I wouldn't have written that statement if I had known he would see it," she said.

"I wouldn't have encouraged my child to do it either because it just adds fuel to the fire."

The victim said a family violence intervention order was put in place in August 2023 after she fled the decades-long relationship.

She said the abuse started about five years into their relationship but she didn't know it at the time.

"It's a slow increase and you don't really realise the extent of it until you look back but there was very much financial and emotional control and gas lighting," she said.

"Everything was always my fault because that's what they are good at. They make you totally lose all of your self-worth, you lose your whole identity. I don't even know what I like anymore because I was only allowed to like what he liked - there was a lot of isolation."

The victim said when the abuse turned physical she was too scared to leave the relationship.

"He always said that if I left I would never see the kids again," she said.

"That was really, really hard. I was so scared."

Fortunately, a police officer with training in family violence helped the woman feel safe enough to leave.

But she said it was not always easy to get access to specialised police resources in rural areas.

She said limited resources often meant intervention orders "weren't worth the paper they were printed on".

The woman's perpetrator often showed up at their house despite the order prohibiting him from attending.

"We don't have any control of the situation until it's too late, and then suddenly you become another statistic," she said.

The victim said it was "gut-wrenching" to see the number of women killed at the hands of their partners in Australia in 2024.

"I could easily see myself and my kids becoming one of those statistics," she said.