It's a true blue question for the ages: can any old strip of sand by the water be classed as a beach? Can Canberrans claim their local waterway a dinky-di beach, just the same as their Novocastrian mates up north? Two of ACM's most passionate editors argue the cause.
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THE YES CAMP
The Canberra Times editor John-Paul Moloney
We landlocked lake-goers know our beaches are not the white sands of Hyams or the postcard-pretty Nobbys.
But just as fine dining doesn't define food, a sandy shoreline does not need to meet the standards of some coastal-adjacent elites to be a beach.
Maccas is still a meal, people. Sand. Water. Somewhere to push out your lilo from. That's a beach.
A decent childhood spent here in Canberra should involve wading out from the sands of Yarralumla or Black Mountain beaches and (having checked the water quality index) diving into the tranquil, brownish/greenish waters.
In mid-winter you may even want to take your kit off and brrrr your way out to one of the pontoons, naked and numb.
Returning to THE BEACH to warm up in your oodie.
Come Christmas holidays, we Canberrans know how to invade the coastline with the best of them, but don't try convincing us the dictionary is wrong when it defines our bit of "shore by the sea, river or lake" as a beach.
That is such typical girt-by-sea exceptionalism. Be better, coasties.
THE NO CAMP
Newcastle Herald Deputy Editor Matt Carr
Close your eyes, and picture the perfect beach.
Which way does the river run?
I'm joking, of course.
If you live on the east coast, the only body of water near that golden stretch of sand is an ocean or sea.
If it wasn't, why would you put up with the crowds, the cost, the caustic ultraviolent radiation?
We cop so much on the coast for the simple reason that the beach is worth it.
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Swimming holes are wonderful things, but beaches they are not.
That's fine; a pigeon is not an eagle, either, but they can both soar.
Bondi might not hold a candle to most of its regional neighbours (especially given the crowds), but it's the platonic ideal of Australia we've been flogging overseas for years. It has embedded itself in the international psyche.
Take them to a muddy bank and you might undo a lot of hard work.
If you're keen on an inland beach trip, I reckon I can save you some time: go run the bath.
Despite the rough and tumble of the surf - a proving ground for every kid worth their sea salt - it's also safer. According to Royal Life Saving's 2022 national drowning report, 34 per cent of drowning deaths were in rivers and creeks. Beaches (their term, not ours) by comparison offered up just 21 per cent.
Safe, salty and serene. What's not to love?
If rivers counted as beaches, those flocks of reddening visitors from colder climates might as well just dump some silica-rich sand on the Danube or the Thames.
Beaches on the coast are so good that even the fact sewage is too often pumped a few kilometres off their pristine shores can't dissuade you from a dip.
