New Warrnambool group to help with the loss of a loved one

After working through their own grief, the pair is looking to help others by forming a Warrnambool Compassionate Friend Victoria group aimed at bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings.

It's something that Ms Lyon wishes she had in Warrnambool when she lost her son Aaron, because to get the support she needed she had to drive to Camperdown.

"I just found it really hard after losing Aaron; driving after work, I'd nod off a bit so I found someone to go with me," she said.

The new group will hold a welcome meeting on Wednesday, May 3 at 7.15pm at the Archie Graham Centre followed by the first meeting in June.

"We've all had the loss of a child, but the journey getting there and recovery is different for everyone," Ms Grant said.

It's been 18 years since she lost six-month-old Lachlan but she remembers everything about him - from his red hair to the time he spent in his bouncer.

"I know I lost my son but I've got lots of fond memories. I'm a proud mum," she said.

Despite having dealt with her grief, Ms Grant said there were still days that caught you out such as the anniversary of what would have been Lachlan's 18th birthday - "what would he look like, what would he be doing now?"

"It's those things that are sadder ... I don't cry or breakdown anymore but still, he should be here," she said.

When Ms Grant's waters broke 15 weeks' early, the odds were against Lachlan who was born premature.

"He just never got off the ventilator and never improved. Boys have a lower chance of survival. One-in-four boys versus three-in-four girls," she said.

"He had everything he could but he just never made it. Six months to the day he passed."

With a then six-year-old at home, Ms Grant would travel to Melbourne twice a week and she treasures the time she had with him.

"He'd been through more in six months than I'd ever been in my lifetime," she said. "Moving him was too much. I think I had two cuddles in that whole six months."

Ms Grant said she had been told the grief would always be there.

"The grief will never be gone. It's like a wardrobe. If you haven't dealt with it, you'll open it up, everything comes crashing down on you. If you have dealt with it you can open it up and then decide what you're pulling out," she said.

For Ms Lyon, she said after seven years she was still judging herself and feeling the pressure to "just move on".

But she has learnt, from going to the Camperdown support group, that even 20 years later it can be just as raw, especially when it's an anniversary or something triggers the memories.

Although, she said it did get easier.

"Now that I'm coping a lot better ... why not pass that on to people if there's a need?" she said.

Ms Lyon said her family had helped her keep his memory alive.

She said she was touched when one of Aaron's friends named their son after him.

"I had 27 years of memories. I've never stopped talking about him," Ms Lyon said. "He was larger than life and just so accepting."

Aaron died from sarcoma about six months after he was first diagnosed.

Group coordinator Andrew McNess will be at the meeting, and anyone interested in attending should email andrewm@tcfv.org.au