On the eve of the round ball World Cup, the one held in Qatar, the one built on the back of slave labour, I have a serious personal dilemma to consider.
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What footy game should my grandchildren embrace?
There are four lively football codes in Australian sport. How you feel about them depends on your upbringing. What you played. What your siblings played. What your parents watched on the television.
I grew up watching the South Sydney Rabbitohs and will support them 4EVA. Australia does well at rugby league at all levels and I get the rules, mostly. That said, I think I might prefer it if my grandkids did not play rugby league. Violence, drugs, betting scandals.
Of course I love the wild athleticism of AFL but some of the rules are inexplicable. The game would improve if you could run with the ball for more than ten seconds or whatever the rule is but I'd be happy for said grandchildren to play AFL even though I don't think my version of small is exactly what the AFL means when it talks small forwards.
Endemic racism. Adam Goodes has been treated appallingly but continues to contribute like the decent human being he is. And not sure how confident I can be that AFL resists the malign influence of gambling. Also, violence and drugs.
Rugby union is utterly useless. We seem to have been losing for eternity. And there is no vibe. I've watched a couple of games on the sidelines and the audience is detached. Last time it was any good was when David Pocock was a lad. Say about 2002. Also violence, drugs and gambling although it doesn't have the rep of the other two.
Which brings me to what used to be known as soccer, the international festival of which commences this weekend.
The round ball sport has tried to dominate the local scene for decades. It's a pleasant enough game if you don't mind 90 minutes while nothing happens followed by a few minutes of mind-boggling stress during a penalty shootout and the team with the slightly worse goal keeper loses. I ask you, what kind of a game relies on the goalie for kicks (geddit?).
But there are now reasons to reject football aka soccer forever and the biggest reason starts this weekend. Craig Foster, football legend and now brand new chair of the Australian Republic Movement, tells me I am wrong, wrong, wrong, so wrong.
So, let's get to the heart of the problem. The problem is not even the lack of drama in the game. I'll watch synchronsied swimming quite passionately. I've even watched children's ballet eisteddfods. The general pulsating fitness of 11 women or men running is quite engrossing. But for decades, the game has been dominated by vote-rigging, bribery, corruption and god knows what else - and even worse than all that, the governing body, FIFA, props up human rights violators at record speed. It gave the World Cup to Russia. I probably don't need to remind you of all the evil Russia has perpetrated (doing it brazenly on the international stage even as we speak)
Then it awards this premier event to Qatar. I always have to Google Map Qatar. Find Mumbai, India, on the map (you know where that is, right?), head westward for about the same distance as from Adelaide to Perth. You'll never forget now.
READ MORE JENNA PRICE:
Catherine Ordway loves the spirit of soccer but says it's complicated. On the one hand, it's the great leveller, crossing culture and countries. On the other hand, as mentioned above, all manner of trouble.
Ordway is the sport integrity research lead at the University of Canberra and knows her way around Qatar - not just the horrors raised by the World Cup but because she lived there in 2005/6 working on the Asian Games. Life for migrant workers was miserable and dangerous. But she's been back and says pressure on Qatar to make change has had a dramatic effect.
"Part of the change has been because of community, cultural and international standards. That's the impact of being in the spotlight after putting in the winning bid."
She says Amnesty International has continued to review progress and transparently report on results. One significant improvement is on the kafala/employment sponsorship system - workers can now change jobs before the end of their contract. Human Rights Watch is monitoring this development. Is Qatar perfect? Far from it. But international pressure has brought change more swiftly to a country which wants more high-profile events.
The biggest reason to reject football aka soccer forever starts this weekend.
"Amnesty would say it hasn't gone far enough," says Ordway. "But it's a far cry from where we were in 2005."
So I really had to ask the one person who I knew would give me the best advice when planning the sporting futures of my grandchildren (This is a joke. I'm lucky if I get to influence their choice of rice cracker). I asked Craig Foster (strength to his ARM. Sorry.) whether I was right to dissuade these kids from the round-ball game.
He replied instantly.
"It is crucial that everyone involved in the game remains involved. Former players, current players, young players. We have to hold the game accountable. Now is the time to be active, involved and speak up. That is the most important thing."
Foster, who opposed the decision to award the Cup to Qatar and says there are still shocking abuses of human rights in the Gulf country, will commentate but his fee will go directly to the families of bereaved workers. So many lost their lives to sportswash Qatar - more than 6500 from Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Nepal. He says the international pressure is key to reform.
"From a child's perspective there are extraordinary benefits in being involved in a global game and gives us a world view as global citizens. For kids to play every day with and against every faith and every race and every belief system, that is a very rare and valuable environment for our young Australians," he said.
I love that Foster acknowledges the politics in life and in sport. I also love that he thinks we can change the culture. I hope he's right. Maybe that's why we need a world game that's all about patience and a few golden opportunities.
- Jenna Price is a visiting fellow at the ANU and a regular columnist.