Paul Poduska's family has been involved in the military for 150 years but the Warrnambool veteran says he wouldn't recommend joining the defence force to anyone.
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Mr Poduska joined the Australian Defence Force (ADF) when he was 25.
His first deployment was to Timor Leste (formally East Timor) for peacekeeping duties in 2006, followed by a four-month stint in Afghanistan in 2009 and another eight months between 2011 and 2012.
Mr Poduska was a sniper team leader in Afghanistan.
During his final deployment, his best friend and fellow sniper Matthew Lambert was killed by an improvised explosive device.
Another three men lost their lives at the hands of a rogue soldier.
The ADF held two debriefing meetings in Afghanistan, the first one about an hour in length and the second one much shorter.
Mr Poduska returned to Australia in 2012 and was approached six months later by high-ranking psychologists at the 2nd Battalion in Townsville.
The psychologists didn't have any of the team's existing medical documents and the returned soldiers were forced to relive the trauma of losing their comrades.
"We didn't want to do that," he said.
"We'd already told our story. We were trying to get on with our lives and we had to go through it all again. It was actually really hard."
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It was at that point that Mr Poduska lost faith in the ADF and he left the organisation.
His discharge period lasted just three days and included a 20-minute discussion about his mental health.
"They were just ticking administration boxes," he said.
"There was no information about what I was entitled to and what assistance or resources were available to me. I had to find that out myself."
The next five years were a roller coaster with Mr Poduska experiencing constant "ups and downs".
He said he suffered depression, anxiety, anger issues and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - none of which was formally diagnosed until three years ago.
Mr Poduska said he saw three psychologists in Warrnambool who weren't equipped to deal with veterans' affairs.
He felt helpless, eager to seek help but with nothing readily available to him.
Finally, he found his current psychologist Frank O'Connor who helped find ways to manage his mental illness.
But he knows some aren't so lucky.
Mr Poduska said he personally knew at at least two ADF members who took their own lives either during or after service.
"It's not surprising at all," he said.
"So many things need to change and be changed rapidly."
Prime Minister Scott Morrison last week announced a royal commission into veteran suicides after a long-running campaign by former soldiers and pressure from all sides of parliament.
He released draft terms of reference for consultation last Monday, with a tentative starting time of July.
But Mr Poduska's partner Kylie Pascoe said it shouldn't take a long-running campaign for the prime minister to admit there was a problem.
"If a veteran puts their hand up and says 'I need some help', you just go and get them help," she said.
"I'm at a loss as to how a government can be happy to send people to potentially give the greatest sacrifice of their life, yet offer no help when they come home a different person.
"And on top of that, take so many years to admit 'something isn't working here' despite so many reported suicides."
Ms Pascoe said her partner's trauma and undiagnosed mental health issues put significant pressures on their relationship.
"There were times when we really easily could have given up," she said.
But they didn't and the couple now enjoy spending time together at home with their two children Knox, four, and eight-month-old Cleo.
The couple said they hoped the royal commission would look into the lack of transitional support between veterans and their families.
They also hoped to see veterans jumping through less hoops to find help, more veteran-specific psychologists - particularly in regional areas - and less of a focus on antipsychotic medication.
Until then, Mr Poduska said he would not recommend the ADF as a career option in "any way, shape or form".
"So much would need to be changed before I actively suggested anyone join that organisation," he said.
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Jessica Howard
jessica.howard@warrnamboolstandard.com.au
jessica.howard@warrnamboolstandard.com.au
